I ain't going nowhere!

I have always heard things like "taking the road less traveled" or " I will follow Jesus through the anything..." or "Gods timing is perfect" or "His ways are not my ways....and that is ok"

To all of these things I would always say "Absolutely!!" or, if I am feeling especially churchy, I might even mutter an "Amen Sista'!" under my breath (assuming, of course, the person talking is a woman....)

I am pretty sure I have experienced some of these things in my life....although I am feeling hard pressed to come up with any specific examples right now.

What I HAVE experienced many times is something like this:

I am up against a hard, hard, unmoving wall in which my only option is to turn around and go the other way. The opposite direction is by no means easy...but it is really the ONLY way. So...I go. Because, after all...what other choice to I have?

As of the past few months, I am at a different place.
There is no wall.
Instead, in its place...is a fork.

Neither direction is "good" or "bad" per se. They are just different.

And from where I am standing, it appears that God is directing one path, while the other would be directed by yours truly.

So, over this past few months, I have confidently marched myself down the path that I sensed God.
And while I am delighted to be in his presence....something unexpected has happened.
And that would be nothing
not one.single.thing

As my confident march turns to more of a confused wandering, I notice the path running parallel to me.
The one I sensed would have been guided by myself.
The one I am PRETTY sure I am glad I am not on, b.c I DO really desire to allow Christ to be my leader....and not myself.
BUT,
I appears that if I had taken that path, most likely the thing I am waiting to have happen WOULD happen.
But in a different capacity. It would be a safe, same as always kind of happening.

The road I am currently on eludes to bigger, exciting, things beyond my expectation kind of happenings.

But, as I mentioned earlier...at this point, these bigger, exciting things have yet to happen.
Instead, it appears to be "just" my savior and I. Standing around. waiting.

And as I am standing, I see that there is yet another path.
A smaller, shorter one....it leads to the one running parallel to the one I am on. It leads to the one where I would be the one in control.
Things would (most likely) be happening, but they would be small and minimal.
And I would be the guide.
I have one more chance to choose this path....

As I stand looking at this little path, feeling a bit confused and defeated at the lack of action I have experienced,
I am feeling a renewed sense of determination to carry on down the path that is Christ led.

For the first time I am able to REALLY put my words to action.
I am able to really say "no matter how the road looks.
No matter what "I" can see, I WILL follow Him. Because He is so worth following.
No matter what.
Even though it seems as if nothing is happening....And I will not give into the empty promises of the path that is lead by me...."

So, here I am Lord. Holding your hand. Even if we just stand here waiting.

I ain't going nowhere!!